My first ultramarathon was a DNF. I thought it would be a great idea for my first ultramarathon 50K to be the 2023 Cayuga Trails 50 in Ithaca, NY. 31 miles of 6,882’ elevation gain. At the time, it was the closest ultramarathon to me at just over an hour away so lodging wasn’t too much of an issue. Plus I knew two other runners doing it. So I didn’t consider that Ithaca is hilly when I registered for the race just before midnight on a week night when I should have been sleeping. I realized that I picked a hard race a week later when I started watching youtube videos of it and saw runners going up and down around waterfalls and gorges.
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I created a 20 week training plan that started in January 2023 but it went out the window in late winter. My usual winter blues and work related stress killed my motivation to consistently run enough weekly mileage. I was running but not the mileage I was hoping for.
I know, excuses.
I’m a stubborn ass, so I did the ultramarathon anyway with little training because I knew I’d regret not trying. At the last aid station around mile 26, I was pulled from the course for not making the cutoff. I’m a slow runner, like 6 hour marathon slow. And I arrived at the last aid station 2 hours past the cutoff. It’s my own fault for asking if I could keep going, I should have just grabbed goodies from the aid station and kept going. They never would have noticed because the 50 milers were still going.
At the same time, I was ready to stop. My Garmin had less than 10% battery life. I doubt it would have made it to the end. And I was having minor stomach issues as well.
Registration has now opened for the 2024 Cayuga Trails 50. I’ve been more tired than ever, career, family, approaching 43. There’s definitely a “I can tell I’m passed 40” feeling. Plus 2023 had three 26+ miles distance races (my second ultramarathon race was a success!) in a 4 month period, which I had never done before. And I’ve been having some knee pain in my right knee so I haven’t run much since October, just here and there. But the desire to try Cayuga Trails 50 again is manifesting.
When I left Ithaca the night of the 2023 race, I was tired and sore but satisfied with my attempt. I didn’t feel the need to try that race again. In the months that followed, I had no desire to return to Ithaca. Not because of any negative feelings, I was just tired.
2023 is over now. One year closed and another is open.
The record is wiped clean. But I’m old, so it’s more like a slate board. Even though I remember thinking “I’m never doing this race again” all day on race day, I’m forgetting the pain and suffering of it. Much like when you think about having another child.
My husband suggests not to register yet for Cayuga Trails 50. He’s probably right. I still have a little knee pain. And I’ve already committed to a few distance races in early spring. The NYC half marathon in March and Seneca 7 in April. I’m also doing a snow shoe team race in January so my knee needs to be healed by then. But the urge to try something I already failed at is irresistible. I’m like a moth to a flame. And I’m a stubborn ass.
I cannot accept defeat.
May the running gods help me if I DNF at Cayuga again.